Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Right to be Pissed


It's only after I started forming this post inside my head that I saw that several others had already written about it. But ah well, there's always space for one more rant.

Since Women's Day is not too far away, I shall take this opportunity to celebrate it by getting pissed one more time. Do click on play and watch:

This will not be the only bullshit you'll see this Women's Day, you can be assured. You will see many more such advertisements that cry themselves hoarse on how a woman is a daughter, wife, sister, Ma, Paati all rolled into one and how you can shower your appreciation on her by buying a bigass diamond or washing machine.

The truth, however, is that it's a downright pain in the ass to be all of these all at once. I'm pretty sure all the superwomen in your life would appreciate you better if you washed your goddamn shirt yourself instead of reclining on a chair and giving gyaan on the latest washing machines in town. Really, it's so boring to keep watching women caring about shirts so much on TV. We don't give a damn, honestly. If your boss fired you because your white shirt is not white enough, he's probably insane. Or maybe he's a retired PT Master.

There are so many things wrong with this particular video(apart from that painful Tu hi tu, tu hi tu...), but let's start at the beginning. People who wear a dupatta while sleeping, raise your hands!

What?! Nobody?? OMG. All of you must be really normal women then.

In my mum's time, it was enough if a woman was fair, slim, and homely. Now, you have to be all three plus a career woman who also doubles up as a traffic cop when required, it looks like. Throughout the song, this eerily smiling lady doesn't have a hair out of place. From the range of things she does, one can deduce that she sleeps for twenty minutes at the most. And yet, she has no bags under her eyes. Arrey wah! We didn't see her use Ponds Age Miracle, did we?

She's not just traditional, she's also modern, minddit. She has a job *clap, clap* and she's so sweet, she doesn't even bitch about her boss (a man, of course) who makes her work overtime. Funnily, this woman's world seems to be populated only by men. The only other woman is the MIL who is sweet. A bit disappointing. I'd have enjoyed it better if she'd set her DIL on fire and the latter had gone up in smoke smiling as insanely as ever. Maybe we could have drawn out a comparison with Sita Devi there and applauded ourselves.

I'm really tired of seeing women who don't get tired. Or pissed. On some days, I just wake up feeling pissed. I make carping statements, I invite fights, I act like my hair is on fire. In short, I make life difficult for people around me.

But I also believe that I'm effing worth the trouble.

I don't need to be an angel to be wanted or loved. Because the people around me are not angels either. And I put up with their drama because I care about them. So why in god's name do I have to keep smiling like a self-advertising dentist in order to be the perfect woman?

I'm also lazy, you see. On some other days, when I'm not pissed, I like sitting on the sofa like a well-fed cat, doing nothing at all. I also happen to think my life is perfect on those days. If I had a day like the woman in the video, you can be assured you'll find corpses all around me.


Okay, now let's say something calm and collected.

Why are these ads so annoying? Simply said, women get enough shit as it is and we don't need to be told that we're morons who believe the shit is, in fact, 24 carat gold.

Womanhood is not about sacrifice. Womanhood is about being human in your own skin. It is about realizing that being human means you will age, lose your temper, lash out at the people you love, have selfish dreams, make mistakes, be unreasonable, dislike pain, love comfort, bear grudges, and in spite of all this, you are still awesome.

Dear Star Plus, I give you the finger. Buy yourself a bigass diamond ring and smile away.


Anonymous said...

Very funny!
"If I had a day like the woman in the video, you can be assured you'll find corpses all around me. "- clap clap

sandhya said...

Have been a lurker long enough. Time to comment.
Loved it!

Srinivas said...

Strong post and deservingly so, GB. The last three paragraphs are sbsolute truths spoken with stunning eloquence but without a smidgen of exaggeration.


Anonymous said...

Choma...I couldn't agree with you more..While its good to try and remain positive through all the shit that comes a man or woman's way, this lady seems intimidatingly good and perfect.. she even finds time to romance with her husband after working, managing a home, kids, and running around the streets of Delhi

Anonymous said...

First, I find your post funny AND relevant! Now, where can you find that! :-) In all honesty, it is annoying to see these ads that aim to show women as super achievers just because they can multitask the hell out of everyone around them.A touch of realism and empathy to real-time problems that an average Indian woman faces would be a much better thing to do for 'Women's Day' than churn out useless adverts!

Kookaburra said...

wow you guys are so angry and they call it "anthem" also?
I did patiently wait for the whole youtube to load and replayed it and to be honest got a bit obsessed with that last telescope bit - seems to be very expensive one - but more than the stars how can she keep her eyes off the neighbours with that thing!!! :))) ... that is one reason I shouldnt get it perhaps! :))) ...

Star Plus?! doesnt get included in Tatasky south package perhaps ... but prax has now got some universal package guilty of special payment for cricket watching!!! :) so I may stumble on starplus if I click my remote randomly now ... :)

Aarti said...

good post.. so true!! :)

buddy said...

der se aaye, durust aaye

Pavithra said...

Came here via blogeswari's tweet. Bravo. Felt an insane amount of anger at teh perphect woman who is an angel on earth. The telescope bit bugged me most of all. I share your vexations, and begged to be welcomed to the Sisterhood of the Pissed off Pants. :) Cheers, P.

Pavithra said...

Oh my freaking God. Sowmya, is that you??? Came across your book with Nivedhita and stumbled upon the fact. Wow! :) Can we say, Tiny World? Great blog. Will be checking in frequently. :)

the mad momma said...

here, here! awesome post. totally agree with you. and you have a wonderful way with words.

the mad momma said...

and oh, its rather ironic that i blogged about this today -

feel free to delete if you don't allow other links.

Clueless said...

That was awesome GB - you are such a good writer! Sometimes I just want to scream - when you dont have a job and have 24 hours x 365 days on hand - do your own damn laundry, make your own damn food and wipe your own damn butt! In fact, do all that for me, coz I am the one who's away 11 hours working and battling that horrendous commute. But what do I hear every time I come home - "What's for dinner?" - just coz I am the woman. I love him, but I think I may have murder on my hands soooon...

vishesh said...

Did you notice the different clothes the girl wore? Ha! the TV people are creating a evolution!

And you know what? mothers should probably stop spoiling boys, then maybe...

Anonymous said...

*applauds* beautifully put.

The Visitor said...

Angel in the house, version:43210.1

Anonymous said...

Ironically this super bit is about women and children ..a*&^^ es

Chandrima said...

Lovely, hard truth, well said, I wonder these star plus people even cared to do a field study with their own news readers (female) before making this 'anthem'. I don't know if these voices will ever reach their cotton plugged, conservative ears.

Dhivakar said...

Awesome post. Who are these guys kidding? These days imperfection is perfect.

shail said...


"women get enough shit as it is and we don't need to be told that we're morons who believe the shit is, in fact, 24 carat gold."

*more applause*

Loved every word.

Phoenixritu said...

Loved it. Came via Shail's link. Am putting your blog on my reader. Pure Gold!

The Bride said...

I am lazy, careless, sit on the couch a lot and do not cook. However, I still want other people to buy me diamonds. Man, woman or child is ok, as long as they're buying and not me. In fact, I expressly told my husband whilst I was in the midst of labour that both he and my son owe me diamonds. I am still waiting but am not averse to reminding periodically. My son is only three months old, however, so I'll wait till he's about 6 to press my demands.

Indian Home Maker said...

Shared this on Buzz. You have put in words, so perfectly, what so many of us have always felt.

Loved this post.

R's Mom said...

Came here from IHM's buzz...its such a superbly written put into words which I often feel and just cant express..and this video ugh!

DewdropDream said...

She couldn't possibly have used Ponds Age Miracle (or a variant) because, well, she's supposed to be all 'natural' no? Fresh, dewy faced the second she wakes up, all the way through 20 minutes of sleeping to the next morning ... rinse and repeat. Also, the money that goes into her 'beauty treatment' is actually of better use if it's spent on someone else in the family.

"The only other woman is the MIL who is sweet. A bit disappointing. I'd have enjoyed it better if she'd set her DIL on fire and the latter had gone up in smoke smiling as insanely as ever. Maybe we could have drawn out a comparison with Sita Devi there and applauded ourselves."

This made me laugh :D

This is a really wonderful piece, thank you for writing it.

a. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anon said...

"A bit disappointing. I'd have enjoyed it better if she'd set her DIL on fire and the latter had gone up in smoke smiling as insanely as ever."

Posting the same thing from my naatamai id now.
Like your antsiness. :)
Happy womyn.

CMCK said...

damn you GB for mind reading! is it possible to be more funny & precise? Loved it! The womanhood part..i more than loved it!

CMCK said...

and Happy birthday GB
!!..a fellow piscean that you are pleases me that we share the same madness :-)

N said...

*Shudder* I have this urge to hit her head with a karandi. She'll probably laugh in a silvery way, turn around and wipe the single tear that rolls down her cheek perfectly. *Throws up* In the words of Bolenath (who we do not know but thank from the bottom of our pissy,happy souls wherever you are)- HOW LIKE THIS?

Raj said...

Wow, you seem to be on a roll!

TV ratings still seem to favor the all-sacrificing-women-that-maketh-a-happy-family and all of Nooyis, Clisters, Kocchars and Mazumdar-Shaws achievements is made to look like a aberration.

On a technical note, was not even a single woman not involved in making the video? I'm surprised that they even let it till this level

Btw, Happy Bday !

GB said...

@Anon- :D Thank you!

@Sandhya- Yay, delurk more often!

@Srini- Thanks!

@Anon- Is this Sarso? I'm glad you appreciate the semi-negative vibes ;)

@Anon- Couldn't agree more!

@Kookaburra- should get yourself a telescope, really :D

@Aarti- Thanks!

@Buddy- Es.

@Pavithra- Heylooo!! History akka!! Great to see you here! I've been in that particular sisterhood for a long, long time now :D

@The mad momma- I allow everything in my comments section except bots, especially good posts :) Keep visiting!

@Clueless- :( My mum always used to say that if you don't bend, you will break. And I always used to say that if you bend too much, you will break anyway.

GB said...

@Vishesh- Spoken like a true hero :)

@Anon- Thanks!

@The Visitor- Sigh. Yes. There's no end to it!

@Anon- :)

@Chandrima- A friend of mine who works for Star has apparently sent it to her boss :D

@Dhivakar- I'll drink to that!

@Shail- Thanks!

@Phoenix- Thank you :)

@The Bride- I'm sure that if men had to go through childbirth, by now, we'd have different cadres for it like Superintendent, Commissioner, General etc. And medals and stars to go with it.

@IHM- Whoa, so pleased you are here, O Institution of Gender Issues!! Keep visiting!

@R's Mom- Thank you! Ugh describes it perfectly.

GB said...

@Dewdrop- Yup, she's a natural beauty who was born with shaped eyebrows and make-up. God!

@Anon- :D Antsy is a way of life.

@CMCK- Yay, thank you!! Pisceans are the greatest, I agree :D

@N- Hehe. You should start a blog called Bolenath Bolos.

@Raj- Yeah, I'd have thought they would have at least run it through their news casters once since this woman is supposed to be one!

Salil said...

Thanks to Shail, who pointed me here.
Loved every word of the post. This is probably one of the strongest pro-woman article I have ever read.
Happy woman's day!

Aparna said...

Woo...thanks for being so realistic. Loved the last but one para on womenhood... awesome!!!

Anonymous said...

women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.The feminine mystique has succeeded in burying millions of women alive. women are not inherently passive or peaceful,but inherently human -just like men.woman accepts pain as a natural heritage as it is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in her head.That is why the notion that women are people sounds radical even today.

In your mom's times and even in your grandmom's times many a woman have regarded themselves as nouns and not as adjectives.In this era it is even more important not to let the hand you hold to hold you down.
True, womanhood is not about sacrifice, hence motherhood, wifehood etc too are not about sacrifice.We needn't be angels, absolutely.We are not surrounded by angels, never heard a truer sentence!

keep growing up!Like a beautiful poem this blog communicates before it is understood.

shikha said...

GB, this ad is such a joke, that commenting on it, itself would be a huge waste of time.

I'm just thinking of it as the female version of Chuck Norris/Rajni jokes. So outlandish and improbable that channels like Star Plus would actually dedicate a video to it (with a dumber song), just to elicit some heavy rolling of eyes.

Coming to the "right to be pissed" - yes of course. This is not even gender specific. Women *and* men deserve more than to be compartmentalized into these ridiculous definitions of the perfect woman, perfect man, the perfect mother, perfect father, perfect wife, perfect husband.

Who is anyone to say how we must behave in our lives? All such who attempt, can collectively go to hell :P.

Anu said...

Awesome post!! loved every word!!! and that part about not caring if the shirt was white or not!! perfect!!

Nandini Vishwanath said...

Loved the post. So true.

Oh, you should read this:

Anonymous said...

As always, you made my day...Keep on posting.

Choxbox said...

Brilliant. Agree 100%.

flowergirl said...

I love your blog, ha ha ha! And I did not see the ad, I refuse to!

Thanks for this wonderfully cathartic post, which I have shared with all my facebook friends!

Divya said...

brilliant writing! agree absolutely! Came here via @nandiniv's tweet!

sangeeta said...

Loved it ...loved it ...loved it.
So well written and so well expressed.
came here from IHM's post and i am happy i read this one.

We have been making a joke of this ad at home ...

starry eyed said...

Loved it! My thoughts exactly!

Mama - Mia said...


i dont even need to see the annoying ad! totally get what you are saying! why do women keep falling for nurturer, creator etc crap all the time!

am sharing this on FB! rockstar stuff! just what i needed on Women's day! :p



maharawj said...

Looks like the lady has a 1kg of Chavanprash everyday.
I agree with most things, but I am just wondering of all the things you chose to bitch about on T.V. you picked up this one!!
I have seen women actually work that way and they do care for their husbands white shirt to handkerchief, cause I don't know which world are you living in but dressing up clean and neat does matter in the corporate world.
I think they do it out of love, but I will admit that most husbands take this love for granted, while other are aware of it and do reciprocate.
Why don't I see "women" bitching at the ads that show a married woman(since the one in the ad is married too) have a sexual fantasy with a obviously looking younger male just because he is wearing some perfume!!
I means seriously I think if you searched hard you might find quite a few women wearing a dupatta and go to sleep(cause after what she's been through the entire day as they depict in the ad she would sure forget to remove the dupatta, Look on the bright side though since she has the dupatta on, she did not have sex at night...whew!! :-P atleast the husband did not demand that from her).
but I am sure its would be really hard to find a married women go sex crazy after smelling any brand of perfume.
Not to mention the way the ad was depicting married woman as some sex starved maniacs.
I am not even talking about the single woman they show in the axe ads.
I could just go on how almost 90% of ads make a mockery of women.
Ah I remember a women's hairspray(or a perfume not sure) ad where she is just sitting in the office filing her nails(how blatant could the sexism and stereotype get, that women don't work they just file their nails and look pretty)
And as soon as a man walks in, she creates a distraction by turning on a fan that makes all the papers fly so the man(handsome tall) picks it up while she reaches into her office desk(her office desk has a hairspray) and sprays herself with it while the man is distracted in time for him to get blown away by the beauty of her hair when he hands the papers over to her.
And of all the things you pick this up to bitch about?
Shows how brainwashed really women are. They dread the "housewife" tag.
That what they have been brainwashed into.
BTW you should watch the documentary "century of the self" you will get it on google videos for free.
Shows you how feminism was actually "started"(rather hijacked cause feminism started with the suffrages movement, it was after that Edward Bernays Hijacked it,) my a man.
Some more links
About the Playboy Bunny(wow that sounds like women epowerment :-P). who is now the leading feminist in the world.
How the media only believing in killing true love.(instead of reforming men they dragging women down to the same level)
Anyways happy woman's day. :-)
Enjoyed your article

Anonymous said...

your closing line was absolutely perfect...i am so proud to be all that u said

Dee said...


Very well written!!

Iya said...

this could so be me writing it! agree, word by word!

monikamanchanda said...

Clap Clap.... I came here when someone share this post on FB... brilliant shared it myself and have found myself spending quite sometime on the blog...

this post echoed my thoughts

writerzblock said...

CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!!! You spoke the words of my heart and I guess every other woman's too!!! Don't have anything to add, as you have said it all, and so beautifully!!!!!!

I'm sharing it on FB as well!

Ardra said...

Loved the post and loved the title! I'm adopting it as my motto!
Have linked to your post...

Just Like That said...

*applause* Saw the link on IHM's blog, but didn't want to go thru the Star Plus ad with their not-a-hair-out-of-place women.
Then saw the link to your post on FB and loved it.
"If your boss fired you because your white shirt is not white enough, he's probably insane. Or maybe he's a retired PT Master."
hear hear!:-D Happy Womens Day to you!

Sudhir said...

Nice! This is going onto my FB wall!

Rekha said...

Very well written! I loved your post. I totally agree with your points. There are days when I don't want to do anything at all. I can't be up 24/7!

Lakshmi said...

So true. I shared this on my FB wall. I have gone through all your archives and am quite in awe of the way you write!

Hip Grandma said...

Very true. Yeah and funnily true too.

Homecooked said...

Came here through a friends FB post. Totally agree with each and every word :) Will visit again.

Vini said...

This was such a treat :D
Absolute delight of a piece.

Hate to make this serious comment but it is only fitting.
I work for a B-tier IT company in Chennai. I was being asked to deliver a speech for the women's day celebrations at the office today. When I asked the HR about what she wanted me to share, I was appalled to hear her say that I should talk about work-life balance and little things like managing cooking after work when work+commute totals 12 hours. I told her that I actually have a cook because I do not want to enter the kitchen after 12 hours at work or otherwise for that matter. And when she looked back at me, it wasn't camaraderie or empathy that I saw, but jealousy. And I can totally understand why. When I interact with the other women who travel with me in the bus (and my interactions are fairly limited given my low patience levels) or talk to the other married women in my team, I realize that a lot of them are actually the kind of superwomen who handle all of what this nonsensical anthem talks about. It is a reality, and we on the other hand are safely ensconced in a bubble with liberated friends and more importantly liberated men in our lives.

It is impossible to talk these women out of the multiple roles that they have silently accepted, the roles that sap them of all energy, all spirit, and all life.
Because like you said, a whole lot of us, like morons, believe "This is our lot". And that saddens me.

If you keep bending, you really will break.

I couldn't make it to the launch today. I hope you got a great response.

Smitha said...

What a fantastic post! Just what most of us feel about drivel like this!

wisegirl said...

Love it!!!!!

Ramya said...

What a brilliant piece! Very well said. Thank you!

Preethi said...

Abha sent me here.. very eloquently said.. I see that ad and I am grumpy and mean old woman.. really!! I hate woman's lib talks.. why does it always have to be about extremes right? According to me.. woman's liberation is about having the right to make your choices - right or wrong, good or bad, to work or lounge around. Let it be about your choice. And women's liberation is about not having to remember and appreciate a woman on woman's day!! Yeah I can be obtuse...
And most of all being a woman is understanding and appreciating that you are different from a man and celebrating that difference (and using it to your advantage;).. not by being the sacrificial goat or the chirpy little multi tasker like the one in the ad.. she cracks me up!!

Swati said...

Glad to discover this blog , I have often wondered if all the ladies like the ones shown on TV , I must be abnormal.

Gita Madhu said...


itchingtowrite said...


Archana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
roop said...

lol fabulously written!!!! I remember thinking the same when they played introduced this in star screen awards I think? They were so proud of the ad and I was thinking that why isn't the husband feeding the kid breakfast! ;D

Srinivas said...

wowwwww :D Is that a blog record for you GB - 70 comments (before this)? :D

If it is not, then double wowwww :D. Cheers. Way to go :)

Anonymous said...

I LOVE your post.This is exactly what I had in mind after watching this stupid video

PP said...

i love this post and your blog in general. stumbled across it by accident, and ended up reading almost the entire blog. i've put a link to yours on my blogroll. hope you dont mind.

Madhu said...

Brilliant post ..Like always.
Your views and writing style are excellent and your sense of humour above all is awesome.

Moonlight said...

Loved the post! Every word of it is absolutely true! And I take pride in being THAT woman, who is "normal".

writerzblock said...

Came back to re-read this post for God knows the umpteenth time :-) So beautifully articulated. So well written! Thank you , for this. Makes me want to print and frame it, if only to revive my flagging sense of identity at times, and to remind myself to stop trying to please others, and just be my ordinary imperfect self!!!

Anitha Kozhissery said...

Dear S,

This definitely is the funniest and most well written blog I've come across! Your blog made me laugh like I haven't in the past couple of months.. I tried to spread out reading your blog for as many days(kind of like a child who hangs on to the last bit of i-cream!!).. :D


soumya said...

Loved the post.... very well written!!

NittyWitty said...

One of the best posts I have ever read,GB! I just love your writing..

Steve said...

As always, you made my day...Keep on posting.

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