Friday, August 5, 2011

Hello, hello


Hello, hello. I'm here only. Everything is good and great, in case you've been sitting breathlessly on the edge of your chair wondering why I haven't written anything in so long.

Just two more weeks and I'm into the final trimester. Woot. I've been having the weirdest pregnancy-related dreams. Like I once gave birth to octuplets. There was this endless stream of babies coming out of me and I was sitting very benignly like a goddess. No pain or anything. Efficient delivery, almost like a Fedex service. Then I had another dream where I'm having a cesarean and M is watching the operation. And just as the doctor is lifting the baby out, M gets a call and he goes off for some hundred years. By the time he's back, the baby's gone and I'm super mad. Then the doctor puts six tiny star-shaped stitches on me and I feel all happy. The last was the weirdest. I gave birth to a girl who looked grown-up already and I was walking out of the hospital with her. By the time we reached home, she was already this self-contained young person wearing dangling earrings and all. Yes, yes, all this is related to birth anxiety and my inner fear of bringing up a baby and many pregnant women have these kind of dreams etc etc. I know all that, but it's still fun to write about it like I'm very unique.

We went to one of these baby shops and got newborn clothes. Even mittens. Though I don't imagine the baby will tolerate them for long. There were a million other products there that I hope I'll never be tempted to buy. I'm sort of hoping this baby will be miraculously cooperative and never give me any trouble. Ha. My evil parents, on the other hand, can't wait for karma to catch up.

I read up on some breathing techniques during labour and tried to practise them with M. We both kept giggling and couldn't do it. I kept feeling like a chugging train illustration from Champak or something. But since I'm very conscientious (and also because my mum nagged me into doing it), we've signed up for prenatal classes. I really hope the other pregnant people there are not some society types who will talk about the spirituality of pregnancy or something like that. I don't know why I'm assuming that's how they will be.

In other news, one more picture book of mine with Tulika is coming out this year. It's called Monday to Sunday and it's about this boy who thinks he's a different animal every day of the week. No, he's not some psycho from a Gautam Menon film. Just a weird, imaginative child. Okay? I really hope this baby doesn't think all my books suck.

My friends gave me a book full of messages for the coming-soon baby. With my pictures with them and all the nonsense we've done over the years. I cried and got all snotty-nosed. Mother India level I'm reaching in life.

Well, that's all, everyone. Now you may exhale slowly and relax your body while making a hoooooooooo sound because you've just heard from me. Okayyyyy.


R's Mom said...

Wokay..happy to hear you are wokay...what no mayil part 2...gah!

But since I love reading you and all that, I will get the other book as well...what age group is that?

Hey asking for R not for me..just incase you are wondering..

And when is mayil part 2 coming out??

Take care of your health okie?

The Bride said...

Hello hello... yay for the final stretch. Enjoy it. Don't start wishing for baby to pop out. Life is chaos after baby pops out... then you will want to pop it back in. However, after three months, you'll be happy it came out after all. Ok I am rambling. Just enjoy this last three months ok?

And the mittens, they are useful. Not for warmth or anything. Cutting babies nails is stressful. Mittens means you can delay that... until baby is old enough to pull off mittens. That gives you about two months. Worth it.

GB said...

@R's Mom- Too early for a Mayil Part 2 :D I heard Part 1 is doing well, so maybe next year (if I still have my marbles around), we'll start writing it!

Monday to Sunday is a bilingual...probably for 3 +. It's still in the translation/illustration phase, but I wanted to boast anyway :P

@The Bride- I read about your experiences with nail-cutting :D Shudder. I'm pretty sure M is going to be in charge of that here. Pune gets pretty cold during the Winter, so I thought mittens were needed...I don't want to end up stuffing the baby with all sorts of layers like it's a cabbage. Guess I'll figure out how much warmth it needs only when it arrives :|

karthick r said...

First time here...!
I never knew people can be witty even in times of paranoia/anxiety.
All IZzz Wellll bolo, All IZzz Wellll bolo

Vini said...

Ah - GBM besting Baby B in November is it? :)

Mittens are so cute - for the rest of your life you are expected to do useful stuff with your fingers and hands and you don't get to wear mittens again.

CMCK said...

GB!! I've missed you. Good to know about the baby (which I've decided is the female version of baba, you know like ladki-ladka), your dreams and the book. take care and throw the soon-to-be-mommy attitude :-D It's only for a while can you do that.

Payoshni said...

Hey there..i have been a reader since a month and have also gone through the archives, enjoyed every Bit of your writing :)

Good Luck with the baby.. :)

btw : i bought & read 'MAYil' and loved it :) waiting for MAYIL part 2, which am definitley going to buy too ! (at the age of 27 years, reading kids book is pure Nostalgia and thank you for bringing it to me :))

The Visitor said...

*Exale* "hoooooooooo".
Take care.

Ramya said...

Take care and good luck!

Oh, and my SIL had a baby 3 weeks ago and we had to go out and buy lots of mittens because the baby's nails grow incredibly fast, and she keeps pinching her own cheeks, and my MIL wounded baby in the process of cutting her nails so everyone is too scarred to cut baby's nails. Phew!

Anonymous said...


Delurking to wish you all the best. I love your humour and perspective. I'll surely get the new book as its in the age group for my child.
regarding cutting baby's nails: if you are so worried, you could lightly moisten them and bite them off with your teeth. they are quite soft and come off easily. you can easily do it when you are breastfeeding/baby drinking milk time.
good luck

shilpasharmaonline said...

Octuplets??Like a Fedex service. :D Your baby is going to have an amazing sense of humour. For sure. LOL

Prathima said...

Loved the post. 3rd trimester and witty, rare combination I should say!All the very best for the fedex delivery:)Hope it will be as easy as u dreamed it to be(not the star stitches/hubby call parts:)

Sowmya said...

The most wittiest blog i hv ever ever come across. Love ur writing so much...i can go on abt it, the Tiffin box exchange note, the bit where u made sambar wid chana dal...u r a to u and loads of luck for the baby :-)

vishesh said...


Kookaburra said...

hooooo ... yes great to hear from you! :) ...

Kroswami said...

thenk god meen
i was wondering what happened to you...
dont you have happy baby dreams or are they all bad acid trips?

GB said...

@kathick- Yes, yes. I'm filled with positive energy and what not :D

@Vini- What a lovely way of viewing mittens!! And yeah, I'm sure GBM will kick Baby B's ass. Though I'm going to be a non-competitive mother. Haha.

@CMCK- The only thing I want to throw now is all the health food. God. I'm so bored of eating nuts.

@Payoshni- Yay!! Mayil Part 2 is a long way off...but it's something we'd love to maybe maybe...!!

@Visitor- Yes, uncleji.

@Ramya- :O. See, statements like this scare me. Because I only bought mittens for their cuteness value apart from the warmth factor. Never struck me that the baby would do such damage!

@Gayathi- Thank you for the tip :)

@Shilpa- Let's hope so. It would need it if it's going to live with me.

@Prathima and Sowmya- Heh. Thanks, children!

@Vishesh and Kookaburra- Gooooood! Now fill your minds with positive energy, ok?

@Kroswami- I have happy baby thoughts. But the scary ones all come out as dreams. I'm one of those characters who has to compulsively look confident when it's normal that all my paranoia is coming out as dreams.

dipali said...

Good to hear from you, weird dreams and all! Take care, and chug along:)