On an Airplane

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My current mental state is like that of a passenger on an airplane that's taking forever to land. In a new country where I'm going to be without any maps. I also get jolts in my stomach once in a while- like I can't remember if I put some life-saving equipment in my baggage. And there's no way I can check till I land. I can see the runway from my tiny window, but it still isn't time yet. For now, I'm suspended in air with nothing else to do but wait. I'm reading books and watching movies and working on my laptop, but it's just to make the waiting more bearable. It's as if all of me is geared up for that touchdown moment when the plane dips and your stomach drops and with a roar in your ears and a nervous giggle stuck in your throat, your life overturns.

In our last prenatal class, we finally watched a real childbirth video. I've been avoiding watching any because well...let's just say it isn't my idea of entertainment. But surprisingly, I neither thought it was gross nor frightening. It didn't scare M either. We were both left with the feeling that this was something we could definitely do. It seems incredible that till now, I was so utterly incurious about how I came into this world. It seems equally amazing that every person I see around me is there because someone else went through what I'm going through to bring them into this world. It kind of makes me feel more forgiving towards the moron in the theatre who keeps talking over his cellphone throughout the movie.

We watched both Crazy, Stupid, Love and Friends with Benefits last week. Both got decent reviews but I didn't really think either was that great. Or that funny. Maybe because I'm in my airplane mode, I just wanted the movies to get over. I'm really tired of the slick men who apparently know all about female psychology and can pick up any girl in a bar. And then one fine day, true lurve finds this slick boy and he starts talking about his childhood on the beach. Or his dad. Or his first diaper. Then the slick man discovers what a good woman's love can do to him (mostly when she's dressed in some ultra feminine gown- the Hollywood version of Kajol's red saree in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai- for the first time and he sees her with new eyes and yada yada). I also wish they'd stop including these never-let-go-of-your-soulmate type of speeches in the script. Everyone thinks the other person is their soulmate when they are in love. Then the shit hits the roof and you break up. And find another soulmate. And that'd be another movie.

I sat next to this bespectacled girl during Friends with Benefits and she kept saying, "NAAAIICCCEEE!" every two minutes at whatever was happening onscreen. I was starting to get pissed. And then I remembered the childbirth video and decided to tolerate her because of her mother. Bless her.